


that sugar pill to dose me up

by blackkat



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [92]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Iruka, Pining Obito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-03 00:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15808041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “Whois Team 7’s new sensei?” Iruka demands in horror, voice breaking about two octaves higher than is probably appropriate for a man his age.Tsunade doesn’t even look up from her paperwork. “The Uchiha brat,” she says. And then, after a beat, “Wait, no, that’s Shisui. TheotherUchiha brat. The one who dragged me back to this damn village to begin with.”





	that sugar pill to dose me up

**Author's Note:**

> I was SO CLOSE to calling this one Hot for Teacher. _So close_. I hope you appreciate your narrow escape.

“ _Who_ is Team 7’s new sensei?” Iruka demands in horror, voice breaking about two octaves higher than is probably appropriate for a man his age.

Tsunade doesn’t even look up from her paperwork. “The Uchiha brat,” she says. And then, after a beat, “Wait, no, that’s Shisui. The _other_ Uchiha brat. The one who dragged me back to this damn village to begin with.”

Iruka wants to yell at her that one of Team Minato's members will _not_ make an appropriate teacher for impressionable children. Especially not impressionable children of the type that Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are. _No_ member of Team Minato has ever had even passing familiarity with restrain, reason, logic, or good sense, and Iruka has seen every last one of them in the hospital after pretty much every mission they’ve ever gone on. Not even _counting_ the mission where Uchiha Obito ended up _half-crushed_ and Tsunade only managed to save him with her grandfather’s cells and a massive dose of luck.

“But—” he starts.

Tsunade waves an impatient hand at him, making Iruka duck on instinct. He’s seen that gesture send people flying when they're casually backhanded. “Obito is the only one out of the three of them with any common sense,” she says, which is a blatant _lie_ ; Iruka gets those mission reports. He knows _exactly_ how many time Obito has been rushed to the hospital after an assignment. “He’ll be fine.”

Iruka wants to protest, but before he can there are loud voices in the hall, and a moment later Hiashi and Fugaku burst into the office without even bothering to knock, arguing at the top of their lungs. They manage to almost flatten Iruka on their march to Tsunade's desk, and Iruka takes one look at that cowl on her face as she rises to meet them and decides that no matter _what_ his jounin instructor used to say about his self-preservation instincts, in this situation at least he can definitely take a hint. He darts out of the office before the door can fall shut, then hesitates.

He’s a chuunin Academy teacher. There's no way he’ll ever get a say in jounin instructors, but—Iruka only vaguely knows the members of Team Minato, yet that’s more than enough to know exactly how reckless they are. Tsunade loves Naruto, too, is fond of Sasuke and Sakura as Naruto's friends. If Iruka can find proof that Obito isn't the best for the three of them, that he’s giving them bad habits, maybe that will be enough to convince the Hokage to at least _think_ about assigning some other jounin. At this point, anyone would be better. Well, except maybe Anko.

No, Iruka corrects, marching down the stairs. _Even_ Anko would be better; after all, Orochimaru’s managed to teach her restraint over the years. Minato definitely didn’t manage as much with his team, and between Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke's natural impulsiveness and Obito's own recklessness, Team 7 is going to be a death sentence to all of its members.

Decided, Iruka slams out of the Administration Building, turning his feet towards Team 7’s traditional training ground in a fit of righteous fury. One look at them is all he needs, and then he’ll be able to tell the Hokage in good conscience that it’s a bad idea to put _that man_ in charge of Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto. It’s _so_ bad. Iruka is bewildered by how bad it is; even if she’s practically adopted Obito, Tsunade should _know_ how ridiculous he can be when it comes to risks. It’s just—

He collides with a body as it rounds the edge of the bridge, rising from the shadows underneath without warning, and yelps, stumbles, almost overbalances. The other shinobi yelps too, grabs the front of his shirt with one hand and hauls him up before he can tumble off the side. With a lurch, Iruka gets his feet under him, feels a rock skid beneath his foot, and loses his balance again, tumbling forward with a cry. He catches one half-second impression of a dark eye going wide before he knocks the other man right off his feet, sending them both crashing down into the dirt in a tangle of limbs.

There's a long second of silence, utterly mortified on Iruka’s part and pained on the other man’s. Then, with a groan, the man puts one hand up to his head and squeezes his eye shut.

“…ow,” he says jokingly, but that’s a real wince on his face.

Oh gods. There's fire creeping across Iruka’s cheeks, and he scrambles back, hauling himself off of his victim as fast as he can without causing more damage. And, of _course_ , it’s Uchiha Obito just sitting up, still rubbing at his head where Iruka practically slammed his skull into the ground.

“I'm so sorry!” he blurts. “You—I didn’t see you because you were _lurking under the bridge_ , what were you even _doing_ down there?”

It’s only after the words are out that they register, and Iruka wants to kick himself. Yes, blame the man who probably has a _concussion_ and also _one eye_ for not seeing him coming, _that’s_ really classy, especially when Iruka is here to _spy on him_ —

There's a laugh, warm and bright, and Obito gets a grip on the rail of the bridge and pulls himself back to his feet, then offers Iruka a hand as well. “I was hiding from my team,” he says, and that smile is—sweet. Enthusiastic. “I think they're far away that they didn’t hear, though.”

“Hiding?” Iruka repeats, abruptly suspicious. If Obito is _running away_ from his team, if he’s not watching them, they must have—

“It’s a lesson,” Obito says, glancing back at the training ground. His black eye spins to red and black, and then with a muttered curse he grabs Iruka’s hand and drags him around the edge of the bridge, skidding down the small bank. It’s summer, and the river is low enough that they thankfully don’t have to wade as Obito pulls Iruka up under the bridge, high on the sloping bank, and then sinks down on the grass. Iruka opens his mouth, maybe to yell about being manhandled, maybe to demand an explanation for said manhandling, but before he can get even the first syllable out Obito presses two fingers over his lips and drags Iruka flat to the ground beside him.

It’s pure shock that keeps Iruka from squawking in dismay. For a good twenty seconds the only thing in his mind is the pressure of Obito's fingers against his mouth, the heat of Obito's pressed right up against his from shoulder to ankle. He smells like crushed grass and forest, and Iruka has no earthly idea what to do with that knowledge, or the knowledge of just how hot Obito's skin runs.

And then there are footsteps, quick and child-clumsy, on the road and then the bridge above them. They pause there, and Iruka can see three shadows fall against the water, backlit by the sun. Can hear the familiar groan, loud and dismayed, before Naruto demands, “Where _are_ you, Obi-nii?”

In the slants of light falling over them, Iruka can just see the slant of Obito's smirk, the arch of his brow as he looks at Iruka, and Iruka can't help but smile back, reluctantly amused. That’s certainly a familiar feeling, as a teacher, the _aha, got you_ that frequently makes his whole week. It makes Obito's expression brighten, and he lifts his hand from Iruka’s mouth.

(Iruka’s lips feel a little cold after the heat of his skin, but—he’s trying not to think about that. He definitely doesn’t want to lick his lips to keep the feeling just that much closer.)

“He said he’d be somewhere in the training ground.” Sakura sounds frustrated, too, which is a lot rarer than Naruto being frustrated. They must have been looking for a while.

“No,” Sasuke says slowly. “He said he’d stay near the river.”

There's a long pause, and then Sakura groans. “But he didn’t say _which_ river,” she finishes.

“The Nakano?” Naruto asks in dismay. “It’ll take us all day to look up and down it!”

“This is a shinobi mission,” Sasuke says stubbornly. “So we’ll look like shinobi. Come on.”

“Yeah!” Naruto cheers. “Come on, we can get him, believe it!”

“There's got to be a logical place for him to be,” Sakura agrees. “He wouldn’t just _hide_ , there’d be a reason he picked a certain spot.”

Sasuke grunts, which is probably an agreement, but their steps are already picking up speed, heading for the river that cuts through the village. Iruka listens until they're out of his range of hearing, then gives it another ninety seconds to be safe, and carefully sits up.

“I assume you told them you’d be by _this_ river?” he asks wryly, because he remembers a similar trick his jounin instructor played on his team.

Obito laughs, leaning forward to prop a forearm on his knee. There's grass in his hair, and Iruka is very definitely not looking at it. “Yeah, but Naruto and Sasuke were too busy yelling at each to notice, I think. I'm impressed that Sasuke even heard that much.” He gives Iruka a smile, and asks, “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you before.”

“I think I should be asking that,” Iruka says cautiously, and really, running over the Hokage's surrogate son is probably enough to get stuck on administration duty for the rest of his career.

“I have a hard head,” Obito says cheerfully, and tips his head, listening. After a moment, he falls back into the grass, and says, “They're gone, but I'm going to give them a few hours before I go find them. Did you need one of us?”

Teaching Team 7 patience and listening skills and how to be methodical is not exactly the same as giving them bad habits, Iruka thinks with a sinking feeling. It’s…actually a rather appropriate lesson. And, in light of that, saying he came to get Obito kicked off of the team as jounin sensei sounds so ridiculously bad that Iruka doesn’t even know where to start. He flushes, rubbing at his scar, and manages, “I—I wanted to see how you were doing with them, that’s all.”

It’s even mostly true, if…light on the details.

“I appreciate it, Iruka-sensei,” Obito says, smiling a little. It’s—soft. Pretty, even with his scars and the patch over one eye. Iruka thinks of the heat of his body and flushes another shade darker, tearing his eyes away from the scarred corner of Obito's lips. Blithely unaware, Obito fixes his eye on the lines of blue sky above, and adds, “They're a handful, but I'm so glad Tsunade gave me a team. It’s—it’s good. They're brats but I want to teach them _everything._ ”

Iruka feels something in his chest go a little bit softer. Obito is still a reckless jounin idiot, but—that’s a familiar feeling, too. And clearly he can see what Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke need to work on, so—so maybe there's some hope, right?

“You seem to be doing okay,” he gets out, a little strangled, and wants to groan at how _awkward_ he sounds. He can yell at children all day, but ask him to have _one_ meaningful conversation with another adult and he trips over his own tongue.

If Obito catches it, though, there’s no sign in the brightness of his smile. “Thanks!” he says, and he’s _flushing_ , just a little, high up on his cheeks. He gives Iruka a look, then drops his eyes bashfully, rubbing at the back of his head, and asks shyly, “Would you like to get some dinner with me later? You’ve been teaching for so long, I’d love to see what you think of my lesson plans.”

He has _lesson plans_? Iruka maybe wants to cry a little, because he’s _never_ met a jounin instructor who bothered to go that far. This is _amazing_. He takes back everything he’s said about Obito as a bad influence. Obito is probably more likely to be the only reason Team Minato has survived as long as they have, with Hatake Kakashi and Nohara Rin on one team.

“I’d _love_ to!” he says intently, reaching out to grab Obito's hands in his own. Leaning over, he stares into one wide black eye, practically vibrating with joy as red creeps up Obito's cheeks. “I will talk lesson plans with you _any time_. Tonight? Dinner? At six, or should we go at seven?”

Obito squeaks, ducking his head. Even the tips of his ears are crimson. “Oh gods,” he says. “I, um. Any—any time is good? We could, uh. Make it a—a weekly thing if you want?”

Iruka could _kiss him_. He can't even imagine the sheer _potential_ of a jounin instructor who believes in structured learning and _actual lesson plans_. “ _Yes_ ,” he says fiercely, because good behavior should be rewarded and he’s more than willing to feed Obito at restaurants every day for the rest of his _life_ if that’s the positive reinforcement he needs to keep this up. If he could cook, he’d definitely start bringing Obito bentos every morning. “Six, then? At Ichiraku’s?”

“Okay,” Obito breathes, looking dazed. Iruka beams at him, and he makes a high, startled noise and slaps his hands over his face. “Thanks,” he gets out, muffled.

“Thank _you_ ,” Iruka tells him sincerely, and instead of thinking how to get Obito kicked off the team, his brain is now spinning with the thought of Team 7 beating the Chuunin Exams on their first try, of bringing this before Tsunade like a lion dragging home a kill, getting her to make it _mandatory_ instead of just letting jounin do whatever they feel like with their teams. It could be _structured_. There could be _rules._

As he wanders down the road in a blissful haze of considering _actual assessments_ for genin, he passes Kakashi, but barely even remembers to nod. Kakashi gives him an odd look over the top of his novel, then slides down the bank and ducks under the bridge.

“Obito?” Iruka hears distantly. “Why do you look like that time the Hokage caught you—”

“Shut _up_ , Bakashi, I'm _basking_ ,” Obito hisses back.

“Do you have a _date_?” Kakashi sounds like he doesn’t quite know what to do with this. “With _Iruka_? _Finally_?”

“We’re just going over lesson plans!” Obito protests, but that’s more than enough to send Iruka back into daydreams of a functional jounin instructor system.

It’s very, very possible he’s in love.


End file.
